Hope for an empty feeling

Sitting on my porch sipping coffee this morning I can’t help but think about how Jesus's followers felt the morning after the crucifixion. The lost feeling not knowing what the last three years of their lives meant. Perhaps they themselves never realized as they followed Jesus around exactly why they had been doing it, and having it all ending in a way that none of them could have predicted. Sitting alone after something like that many thoughts could go through a persons mind. Wondering what is the point of continuing on. Utter and complete hopelessness that comes without Jesus in your life. I remember this feeling in my own life, and I know that I am surrounded by a world that sits alone when the music stops and the grander of a life they have built for themselves fades away they are left with a feeling of emptiness. The disciples on that Saturday morning did not understand that there was a purpose. They didn’t see the hope that was coming from the cross. Jesus was coming back! He was coming back in such a way that none of them would ever have to have that empty feeling in their lives ever again! He was coming back to offer for a world forever a hope that no one could ever take away regardless of how empty you think your life is. Jesus reached out to you on the cross that day, all those years ago, and is still reaching out today. When you are sitting there, and the party is over, and everyone has gone home Jesus is still there. You don’t have to wait for Sunday morning to see the empty tomb, it’s still empty, and Jesus is still alive, and wants you to know that He cares for you, and He loves you. 

Fall Race

Well it's that time of year. It's August, and I have already paid my dues for the Rock and Roll San Antonio 1/2 marathon. I had thought this year would be all about someone else, but as we get closer it looks like that is not going to be the case. So the question is what am I going to do this year? This isn't my first race like it was a couple years ago, so just finishing is not a real accomplishment. It is not by far the longest distance that I have ever accomplished, not to brag but I did finish a marathon last year (we won't talk about that). So what am I going to do with this event? I think that the only logical decision is to set a time goal for myself. I made the mistake of doing that in my first race, and hobbled across the finish line in severe pain (lesson learned for my first marathon). But I am a more mature runner now. I have learned from my mistakes, and perhaps this is what I need in order to push myself. It would be so easy at this point to just show up and jog through 13.1 miles with out really taking training that seriously, but what joy and accomplishment would that bring me. This settles it, I need a time goal. I'm thinking somewhere in the area of 130 minutes. Thats 2 hours and 10 minutes, or just under an average pace of 10 minute miles. Yes you can laugh it up, but that would be a serious challenge for me. Sure I've done sub 30 5K's but we are talking about doing that 4 times and then running an extra 1.6 miles at the same intensity. I know that there will be men, and women there that will finish a full marathon in just over that time, but they never weighed in at over 450lbs either. The really cool thing about doing that is that in the final stretch I should be able to see the elite athletes zooming past me in there convoy as they jet off to the finish line (because of the way the course is laid out, and the wave start). Yup sounds like I have a goal, now I only need a plan...

weight loss

I started an incredible journey a few years back. As I try to figure out when honestly years get blurred. I know if I really wanted to I could figure out when exactly it started, but I don’t really care. What I do care about is the pause button that I have hit, and haven’t pushed play again. I assume that since you are reading this you know I have lost approximately 200 lbs. That’s Awesome right?!? Yea it kinda is, and yea it’s kind of a big deal. But there is a problem. I started at over 450. See the problem? If you don’t I’ll spell it out. I STILL WIEGH OVER 250lbs! There. That’s a problem. Yea in the last few months I completed a marathon, and have picked up a new exercise habit, but I am not losing weight any more. Yes I know why! I eat like a 250lb marathon runner! I happen to be 250 lb marathon runner, but I don’t want to be a 250 lb marathon runner! I want to be a 200 lb ironman! Yup, I think to realistically achieve my goal of completing an ironman competition I need to be closer, if not less than 200 lbs. So why haven’t I finished this goal that I started a few years ago to get down close to, if not under 200 lbs? I know there are lots of reasons that I had to pause this trip, my life got turned upside down, and inside out, and for 6 months I didn’t have a house, or a kitchen even, but that’s all changed. I’ve spent the last 14months in my house; my new born baby is over a year old, what’s holding me back? ME!!! I’ve got good exercise habits, I am dedicated in achieving my goals, and obviously I have discipline so what gives?!? It’s time for me to hit play again. I need to get back on this journey and see it to the end. I am so blessed that for the first time in our marriage my wife is serious about her own health, and now we can lose weight together (maybe a friendly competition????) The first thing I have got to do is get the scale back in my bathroom. Back when I did what I did, I weighed myself every single morning. I got up, went potty (I’m a father, that’s daddy language), and hit the scale. In our new house there are two bathrooms, and the one in the master is smaller and the scale got moved to another part of the house. I don’t see it every day, and by the time I do, I’m dressed, and usually had my water. So I just moved it back. Is it going to be an inconvenience? Yea but so is this extra weight I’m carrying around. I know some people say throw out the scale when you’re trying to lose weight, but look most of them have never lost a significant amount of weight and I have, so there :-p. The next step is my little carry along food journals are going back in my pocket. Yea I know that I can log with apps on my phone, but honestly those are very awkward, and if you’re just grabbing a quick snack it can take longer to figure out how to input it, then you really have time for. Pencil and paper is the way I fly. I can look up the calories that I don’t know later. It’s not a tool to tell you how much you can eat, it’s a tool to help you think about what you’re eating, and hold yourself accountable. Yup, I’m ready, time to get into some smaller clothes again, and shave some personal records (it’s a running thing you either get it, or you’re not a runner). 

Swimming a runners new passion

New Year, new goals. I have gone back to school full time, on top of everything else I do, and haven’t had time to update this. I recently joined a gym with a lap pool. It wasn’t my sole reason for joining, but has become my new focus. I rejoined a gym, after not doing any weight lifting for a year and a half. It’s been that long since I have really tried loosing anymore weight. My world got turned upside down, and I lost focus. My life has turned out for the better (Romans 8:28) but I really need to get my body headed back in the direction it once was. Sure I ran a marathon last year, but I really need to drop, another 50, to 70 lbs, and I know that by increasing my muscle mass, I will increase my base metabolism. Well after going to the gym, doing a warm up mile on the tread, and pushing some weights around (you lose muscle mass very quickly btw), I decided to hit the pool. After thinking I was going to drown while doing a tri this summer, I know that swimming is my weakness. If I’m ever gonna be able to call myself an Ironman I have to improve. After swimming a couple of times, I have discovered I really enjoy it. I have found it a lot like running. I had to slow down, find a rhythm, and let the meters rack up. Unfortunately I have to keep track of the laps in my head, but up to now I have done my longest swim about .6 of a mile, and am looking for my first full mile this week. I love the muscle fatigue I am able to get with swimming. I never realized how awesome it was just to go for a 30 minute swim. I even got a calf cramp Friday night, after a seriously full day of other training.  We all need to broaden our scope of things we do physically. I love running, and it will always be #1 in my life of exercise, but I have found a new passion, and it’s in the water. Now I just need to get a good road bike. My hybrid is just not going to cut it past about 75 miles at a time. Oh well 70.3 I’m on my way!!!

insane running music, who's crazy?

So it’s 2012. Got my first run in for the year today, I love south Texas. 45, and sunny, can’t ask for nicer weather. As I was running today I was thinking if any non running person could get in my car and push play on my running playlist, I would be a little embarrassed. However thanks to Twitter, blogs, and running magazines, I am not alone in some of the crazy tunes coming through my ear canals. Honestly if it weren’t for afore mentioned groups, I might begin to wonder if I wasn’t just plain nuts. I mean come on I go out it the cold (yes 45 is cold in south TX) run for an hour all while listening to such chart toping  lyrics such as “aiyyo, Bo knows this, and Bo knows that, but Bo don’t know jack, cause Bo can’t rap.”. Hey it’s a great beat, and keeps the tempo up. Who can walk when listening to such contemporary songs such as Bonnie Tyler’s Holding Out For A Hero? I personally want to find an abandon warehouse and dance like Kevin Bacon. Come on you know you do to. Or perhaps you just might not have been born in the 70’s. So going into this new year I would like to thank all you in the running community for the assurance that I haven’t fallen off the deep end, and there are plenty more out there just like me. Are we the crazy one’s, or are they for not joining us in our adventure for negative splits? That is the real question.

What a way to end the year

What a great way to end this year. My running life started out really slow in 2011. Had a new baby, and moved into a new house all within about 2 weeks of Christmas last year. Needles to say I didn’t do much running for a couple of months. Today I got my last run in of the year, and what a difference a year makes. I ran a 5k around the neighborhood and did it in 28:37 that is a full minute plus faster than I have ever run that distance, and it felt amazing. So looking back on the year I never have sat down and said I want to accomplish certain things, but I defiantly had a goal for 2011. I wanted to complete 26.2 miles. I did it! I got my Marathon in November (Yes I think Marathon should be capitalized), and accomplished something that for 30 years of my life I never would have dreamed of starting, and really couldn't understand why anybody else would. Well since that’s the only real goal I had for 2011 (it was a huge one) I’d say I did alright. As for 2012? I think I will for the first time in my life sit down and write out some goals for the New Year. Thank you God for this change in my life, I owe it all to You, and You get all the glory. 

Yes I'm proud of that accomplishment in 2011.

Trucking adventure, and mindless calories

WOW what a crazy couple of days. Wednesday an opportunity presented itself for me to go down to the valley and drive a truck in the oil fields. I had been wanting to jump in an 18 wheeler again, and since I had no commitments around the house it seemed like an ideal time to go. Being back in that cab was awesome, I love jamin those gears, and rollin those wheels. I was like a kid at space camp. However it was so tempting to fall back in old patterns. When I was an over the road driver I made HORRIBLE decisions. I never walked out of a truck stop without a mug full of soda, and something full of calories to snack on while running down the road. I’m proud to say I was able to replace the soda with coffee, and water, and didn’t pick up any snacks. It was not easy but I did it. Often times we don’t realize how much we associate activities with food with. Ever go to the movies and mindlessly snack on popcorn and jr mints? Or perhaps go to a sporting event and order nachos just because you’re there. Most of us mindlessly put food in our mouths just because we are doing an activity that we have ingrained in our minds that the two go together, much the way a person will go to a bar and smoke while drinking, but never touch cigarettes any other time. I want to encourage you to notice those bites of food that go with activities, and retrain yourself to do activities, and enjoy them without the added calories.

This was really cool to walk around and watch these guys work. It was nothing like the tv show  Black Gold btw.