The last two weeks have been a blur. First week trying to get our house on the market, and the second week trying to find a place to live, and get moved.
I really can't believe that I just woke up in my house for the last 5 years for the last time. Having built this house, moving in when Bethany was a week old, and brining Rebecca home from the hospital this house has a lot of great memories. Lots of laughs, tears, good times, and bad have been shared here. I am amazed at the turns life has taken since we moved here. 5 years ago it was just Amy, myself, and 5 year old Lisa. From a family of three to a family of 5. From Amy working full time, to being disabled.
This morning I sit here on my porch swing, on a porch that I built many fond memories fill my heart. Just building this porch with my 6 year old Lisa, while 1 year old Bethany sat in the sand and played. I built this backyard into something special, and am absolutely astounded that God gave me the ability to build and craft things.
I have recognized for some time that I have been in a transitional time in my life, and now that I know where this transitional time is taking us (Phoenix and The Driver Provider) I realize that this next year is just going to be another year of transition. Becoming familiar with a new city, living in a rented house, determining where we want to buy a house in the Phoenix area is all one transition to another. I am starting to believe that life is simply a series of transitions from birth to death. Seems strange that so many people have a hard time adjusting to change when change is inevitable. I question if the change is whats hard, or the self realization that you are now one transition closer to death.
I have thought about that the last couple of days. I am not an old man by most measures. At 35 some would say I am in my prime. But I also realized as I thought about the last 5 years, and the 5years before that (the time that we have lived in our two houses Amy and I) that I am not 25 anymore. I am grateful for that, but at the same time it is a startling reminder that we are all getting older. Now as I look back on pictures from years gone by I see great memories of people and places that I have been, and I am grateful for the experiences that I have had. But I start to realize that tomorrow is not about me. I start to think of the life my children will live. The desire that I have for them to find peace, and love. For them to be able to do more, and experience even more than I have. I want to try and give them stability, yet at the same time I realize that our own created since of stability is truly a false since of comfort.
Yesterday I was climbing out of the attic for the last time, and was overcome by memories. Looking through old photos, and belongings. Memories of taking town, and putting up Christmas lights every year (I am a Clark Griswald) and I just had to stop at the top of the ladder, half of my body in the attic, the other half in the garage and I was overcome by a feeling of gratitude. I can not believe what Jesus has provided for me. This house for the last 5 years, 3 incredibly beautiful girls, food on my table, cloths on my back, and more stuff then I need. But more than that is something that I don't deserve. It's a peace that comes from knowing that He is taking care of everything. I stood there tears in my eyes as I just was so thankful for knowing who my Savior is, and how much He truly loves me.
I look forward to this new adventure. I have found a church that is close by that I am excited to be a part of. An opportunity to once again be involved in another church body, giving my children a place of refuge in the middle of all this change, and a place to serve. A place that I can show the love that Jesus shows me, to other people.
